‘Not All Skinfolk Is Kinfolk’: What I Learned as a SaaS Founder About Breaking Bread With the Wrong People
Zora Neale Hurston said it. My grandmother said it in her own way. And I have lived it more times than I care to count — especially since becoming a founder.
Not everybody who looks like you is for you. Not everybody who says they’re in your corner is actually there when it matters. And not everybody who sits at your table is eating with you — some of them are studying the menu for next time.
What Building Exposes
When you start building something real, you find out quickly who is genuinely excited for you and who is performing excitement. The difference is subtle at first. They show up to the launch. They share the post. They say all the right things.
But they never actually use the thing. Never refer anyone. Never show up when the work is hard and unglamorous and you need someone to just tell you to keep going.
That’s not community. That’s an audience.
The Table You’re Building Matters
As a founder, you have to be intentional about who you let close. Not paranoid — intentional. There’s a difference.
The people who deserve a seat at your table are the ones who want to see you win even when it doesn’t benefit them. Who give you honest feedback even when it’s uncomfortable. Who are building something too and understand what that actually costs.
Everyone else — the ones who are supportive in public and silent when it counts — you can love them from a distance. But don’t build with them.
What This Has to Do With Your Goals
Everything. Because the people around you either add to your momentum or drain it. And when you’re building something — a business, a career, a life — you cannot afford to spend your energy managing relationships that were never really reciprocal.
Protect your table. Protect your goals. Be generous with your vision but honest about who actually has a stake in it.
Not all skinfolk is kinfolk. But the ones who are — they’re worth everything.
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