I Am Happy to Announce That I Have Given My Final F****— And I Mean That in the Best Way
From here on out I will live the way I want to and I will not feel bad about it.
I will post my podcast. I will post my blog posts. I will post whatever else I want to post without shrinking because of concern about certain comments or certain people I know thinking it’s cringe. I genuinely do not care anymore. My last f____ left the building last week and I watched it go with zero grief.
What inspired this?
The last person I let play in my face by us operating off of completely different rules.
Let Me Explain
There is a specific kind of exhaustion that comes from holding yourself to a standard that the people around you are not holding themselves to. You show up fully. You communicate clearly. You do what you said you would do. You extend grace when it isn’t earned. You hold back pieces of yourself out of consideration for how they might land.
And meanwhile — on the other side of that dynamic — someone is doing exactly what they want, saying exactly what they think, taking up exactly as much space as they please, with no corresponding consideration for how any of it lands on you.
That’s the different rules situation. And I have been in it more times than I care to count. Professionally. Personally. In rooms where I was the expert and still made myself smaller to make someone else comfortable. In relationships where I was the one doing the emotional accounting while the other person didn’t even know the books existed.
Last week was the last time.
What Giving Your Final F____ Actually Means
It doesn’t mean becoming someone who doesn’t care about anything. I care deeply. About my work, about the people I’m building for, about doing things with integrity and intention.
What it means is that I am done redirecting that care toward people and situations that are not worthy of it. Done shrinking so someone else can be comfortable with my size. Done holding back what I actually think out of concern for how it will be received by people who were never really in my corner to begin with.
It means I post the thing. I say the thing. I build the thing. And I do it without spending thirty minutes in my head wondering if someone I barely talk to anymore will think it’s too much.
Too much for who? For what? I am building a life and a business that I am proud of. Anyone who finds that cringe is welcome to keep scrolling.
The Connection to Your Goals
Here’s what I know after years of working with people on their goals: the f____s you give that you shouldn’t are directly proportional to the progress you’re not making.
Every time you hold back because of what someone might think, you are choosing their hypothetical comfort over your actual momentum. Every time you don’t post, don’t pitch, don’t show up fully because you’re worried about perception — that’s a withdrawal from your own account.
And the people you’re holding back for? Most of them are not thinking about you nearly as much as you’re thinking about them. They are living their lives, playing by their own rules, taking up their own space without a second thought about whether you approve.
You are the only one losing in that equation.
So Here’s Where I Am
II’ve been doing this work for over 13 years. I know what it costs to hold yourself to a standard that others aren’t holding themselves to. I’ve paid that bill. A lot.
Last week was the last invoice.
I’m posting. I’m showing up. I’m building this thing out loud. And if that’s too much for some people — I genuinely, wholeheartedly, do not care.
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